Putting Your Phone Away

A couple weeks ago, my sister and brother-in-law came to visit. They have been living in Louisiana for a few months, because my sister is doing out-of-state student teaching. Jeremy and I had the day off, so we went to my parents house to visit with them. It was a lot of fun--we shared stories, played games, and had a lot of laughs. Then, at one point in the afternoon, we were relaxing in the living room.

While we were relaxing, I took out my phone and started to check my email, look at Facebook--all the great things smart phones are capable of. My mom broke into my reverie by saying "Seriously, guys?" I looked around and realized what she was talking about. All of us--Jeremy, my sister, my brother-in-law, and I--were on our phones.

Perhaps this seems like a silly story. You may be thinking "Big deal. Phones are such an important part of society. Why is it so appalling that you were all taking advantage of the technology?" and you are probably right. Phones are a big part of society. Technology in general is making things easier and faster every day.

But what happened to interacting with others? When did technology become more important than people?

Several years ago, I was able to participate in a choir concert where choirs from all over the area got together. We rehearsed for a day, then had a concert later in the evening. At one point, the guest choir director was scolding a student for playing on their cell phone. He said, "Look. If I wanted to spend time with technology, I could have stayed home and surfed the internet. I came here to interact with people, not your phone."

Of course we all laughed, but for some reason, that lesson has stayed with me for years. When you are with people, be with people. Don't let your phone become more important than your friend.

In the movie Hitch, Will Smith (Hitch) is talking to one of his clients and says "When you are in the room, be in the room." Granted, he is talking about a date, but shouldn't his advice apply to all of us? When I play on my cell phone in a family member or friend's company, am I not saying to that person "Sorry, but you are less important to me than this"? Hitch's advice to Albert is excellent, because it is something we can all use.

I am not saying that it is easy to put the technology down. A phone is easier to interact with, and is harder to offend. But it needs to happen. Technology is really hampering our social skills. It has been argued that simple skills, such as eye contact, attention span, and basic conversation skills, are decreasing because of technology. We are spending more time staring at a screen, and less time developing interpersonal skills, and the deficiency is starting to show.

Unfortunately, I don't have a solution for this, since it is something I am struggling with as well. But Jeremy and I had a talk about this, and have decided that the change needs to start with the both of us, when we are spending time together at home.

Now when we spend time with each other, we are trying to put our phones away. It isn't easy, and we have both slipped and absentmindedly begun checking Facebook or imgur (or--but this is only a weakness of mine in our house--playing plants vs. zombies), but I have noticed that our time together is more meaningful. We have been having more conversations, and we laugh a lot more.

As for me, I feel more important. It is easy to feel replaced when the person you are with only cares about what is on their screen. Even if their screen time isn't excessive. As Jeremy and I have made a conscious effort to spend time with each other, rather than our phones, I have noticed that I feel less resentful when we do take phone or computer time. There is less tension, and I don't feel like I am interrupting something when I speak up. I know this is something I am going to continue working on.

Overall, it has been really nice, and so I am extending the challenge to you: put your phone away! There is a time and a place for technology, but there should also be a time and place for our interactions with others.

How have you seen a difference when you are "in the room"? Have you tried the technology-free challenge and seen a difference? I would love to hear about it!

Keeping My Clutter Contained

I am not the most organized of people. Typically in the past, I have let clutter build and build until eventually, it drives me crazy and I can no longer stand it. That is when I begin a mass deep cleaning, and wear myself out before I am finished with the cleanup. This means that usually, when I clean, it is a deep clean.

As a result, the mere thought of cleaning exhausts me. I can’t stand the idea of deep cleaning, when the main thing that bothers me is the clutter. Surely that shouldn’t take all day to clean up, should it? (The answer is no. No, it shouldn’t.)

Since I have been married, it hasn’t been so bad. I am learning to clean up as I go, so there is less clutter around, and the main living areas of our home are usually presentable. This is a lesson my mom tried to teach me for years, but I refused to pay attention to. However, even though things are improving, there are still gathering places for junk, and some less-obvious areas in the house tend to get overlooked.

A couple weeks ago, realized I was feeling antsy because the clutter was starting to invade on my peace of mind again. This time, instead of committing to a deep cleaning of our entire apartment, I sat down to think for a minute. I pondered the problem, and possible solutions. Recently, I have read a couple books that touch on being organized, and tips for making the task less overwhelming. Here were the problems and facts I came up with (don’t worry, we will talk about solutions in a minute):

·         Clutter doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time for things to pile up. I don’t go to bed with a clean house and wake up with a tornado-struck living room.

·         Stuff gathers stuff. This one is less eloquently worded, but basically, the principle is this: if I leave a piece of mail or a coupon on an end table because I am not sure where to put it for now, it becomes infinitely easier to stack other papers on top until I have a huge pile of junk.

·         Along with that…It’s harder to make a mess than it is to add to a mess. Take a clean, clutter-free kitchen table. I HATE putting mail or other loose papers on a clean table, but I have less of a problem with it if the table is already messy.

·         Less is more. Sometimes we accumulate so much STUFF that we forget what it is like to live simply. That is when we end up with twelve black skirts, or that favorite pair of shoes that we can’t bear to let go of, even though there is an identical pair in the closet.

·         Everything needs a place. I think this one is self-explanatory. If something doesn’t have a place, it is junk.

·         The garbage can isn’t that far away. Yeah, I find that sometimes I get lazy and put trash on the stairs or couch to clean up later, when the trash can is an extra twelve steps away (maybe). Am I really too busy to make that trip?

·         Fresh messes clean best. I found that I can tolerate cleaning up a mess if I do so right after it has been made. If the mess has been sitting for a few days, it is easier to push it back a few days more.

·         The simplest messes are sometimes the easiest to overlook. I find it easy to forget about simple messes sometimes, like making the bed. Such an easy task, but it makes the room look much better.

Okay. So obviously, I have a lot of issues with cleaning. I am sure there are more, but in a quick brainstorm, these were the first I came up with.

As I thought about the issues I have, I realized there are ____ relatively easy things that I could do differently, to make cleaning a shorter affair. I have been working on them this week, and have been amazed at how much of a difference it has already made. Of course I have let things slip, but overall, our house feels much tidier, and I feel much less stressed. Hopefully these suggestion help you as well!

·         Clean up messes before they grow stale. When I am cooking dinner, it is much easier to wipe up a spill BEFORE it hardens. When I eat, it is easier to rinse the dish off and get it in the dishwasher BEFORE there is a towering inferno to deal with. Not only does it take less time to clean up one dish than twenty, I also feel better and have more clean working space. The same thing goes with anything I take out: movies, games, and books. Just like my mom taught when I was little, PUT IT BACK before I take something else out.

·         Don’t take shortcuts now that will cause stress later. When I wake up, I should make the bed (I am still working on this one). That way, when night comes and I am ready to sleep, I don’t have to straighten sheets or make the bed presentable, just for me to mess it up again. In the same regard, I am trying to take the extra few steps to the garbage can instead of leaving junk all over the house. This also prevents junk from gathering. Two birds with one stone!!

·         Make a habit of de-junking clothes. I am sure there are other areas in my life where I can use this advice, but I like to go through my clothes twice a year: Once in the spring when I put away fall/winter clothes, and once in the fall when I put away spring/summer clothes. I have decided that it is a good idea to do a quick check through of my clothes each time I bring home something new. If I haven’t worn it for the season, it is probably time to be thrown away.

·         Organize once, and keep it that way. When I was de-junking my closet (still a work in progress. I have shoes left to sift through), I realized that if I arranged my hangers in some semblance of order, I would be able to easily take stock of what I have and what I need. I now keep the shirts/sweaters, jackets/cardigans, and dresses/skirts separate. And, I am shocked to say, I am starting to organize my closet by color. I also went through my drawers and folded all my undershirts so I can easily see the color and style and know what I want. I am amazed at how often I am wearing different combinations now, and how much easier it is to decide what to wear.

·         Find a place for everything. I don’t mean to go out and buy organization tools for every scrap of paper, but have a place to put coupons and other hard-to-place items. And if it is out of sight, even better. Drawers are marvelous for hiding random flashlights, scissors, glue, and other things you need but don’t have a place for. I believe life is less stressful with those things hidden.

·         And finally…Commit to a walk-through each night. This has been a hit-or-miss step for me, but I can tell the difference when I do it. Each night, right before you go to bed, walk around the house. Rinse that plate you kept a piece of pie on after dinner. Pick up that discarded mail and put it in the trash. Fold the blanket you have been using in your chilly living room. A walkthrough like this shouldn’t take more than ten minutes, but I have found it to be strangely relaxing as I wind down for the evening. Not to mention, it is so nice to wake up to a clean house.

There you have it! These are some easy things I have been trying to do each day as I try and make the transition from “cluttered” to clean. Honestly, I didn’t realize it could be easy. I always assumed tidiness was out of my reach. But it is a matter of cleaning as you go, which saves a lot of time in the long run.

What are some of your favorite tricks for keeping clutter-free?