Yep, that's right. I just said that controversial "V" word.Seriously, I feel like Valentine's day is one of the most controversial holidays we have. Which is sad to me, because isn't the whole purpose of the holiday to express your love toward others?
Which reminds me--why do we need a holiday totally designated to expressing our love? I would think that is something we ought to be doing all the time. Is it that we really have become so self-centered that we need a holiday to remind us to tell others that we appreciate them? Or is it maybe that we have forgotten what love is--that love to us is better represented in chocolates and flowers than it is in words and actions? I think that these things are awesome--but I don't think they are the sole definition of what love is, or what it can be.
A couple years ago, I taught a group in my church called the Sunbeams. The sunbeams are a group of kids that are three years old. They were always such an entertaining group to teach--since they were three, the lessons consisted mostly of very simple concepts with lots of activities. Well, the year I was teaching Sunbeams, Valentine's day happened to fall on a Sunday, so I decided to do something a little special for my three-year-olds. I decided to give them all Valentines.
To help you understand, I had four boys and one girl in the group--causing a lot of drama; three of the boys were madly in love with Sariah (the little girl), and Sariah wanted nothing to do with any of the boys--except for Jack, who wanted nothing to do with her. It was quite the dramatic little group.
That Sunday, when I gave them each a Valentine, it was such a beautiful reminder to me to see what simple, innocent, childlike love is. One of the boys, Hunter, definitely had the most dramatic relationship with Sariah. He always tried so hard to impress her, and she just never acknowledged it. But Hunter never gave up. That particular week, I handed them their Valentines, and Hunter went straight to Sariah. In a croaky little voice, he asked "Sawwaiah, will you be my Vawwemtime?" (It is hard to write in three-year-old vernacular!)
Granted, I had to hold back a laugh, but at the same time, what a sweet reminder that little Hunter loved Sariah. Not because he had complicated feelings for her, but because he embraced that simple love a three-year-old understands. I wonder if, like so many other things, we complicate love. In fact, I know we do.
I don't claim to be a love therapist; I am no expert. But I do know what love feels like. I have been blessed to love many people, and to be loved by many people in my life. Good parents, family, friends, and of course, a wonderful fiancé. And I can attest to one thing: real love--what some people would refer to as "true love" is simple. Easy, even. Real love is enduring, and it falls into place where it needs to.
Real love doesn't depend on chocolate, and doesn't just surface once a year when there is a designated holiday for it. Real love is all the time, no matter the disappointments or disagreements.
Real love is determined. I wish I could say that Hunter and Sariah's story had a happy ending, but unfortunately Sariah never even acknowledged Hunter's request. But Hunter kept trying. Because real love is worth the effort.
Happy Valentines day, all!
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