Mean What You Say, Say What You Mean

Dr. Seuss was a genius. I’ll just say it. The way that he composed rhymes and masterfully taught children and adults alike is pretty much unparalleled, in my not-so-humble opinion. Don't believe me? Tell me--how many other authors have a day set aside to recognize them? I rest my case.

With his quirky rhymes and unique illustrations, Dr. Seuss manages to teach the deep concepts of life and behavior. With the Grinch, Dr. Seuss teaches us to appreciate the deeper meaning of Christmas. With the Sneetches, Seuss teaches about respecting differences, and the beauty of being different as well as equal. With Sam, Seuss taught us that trying new things is not bad—that if we give them a try, we may find that we enjoy green eggs and ham. And in a cute book called You’re Only Old Once!, Dr. Seuss teaches us to embrace every stage of life—that whether we are old are young, life is an amazing journey to embrace daily.

There is one Dr. Seuss lesson that I have been pondering lately. It is the lesson of Horton. You all remember Horton, right? Not when he hears a Who, but when he appears in the book Horton Hatches an Egg! Horton is an elephant who gets roped into watching an egg as mother “Maizie bird” leaves town. Horton is miserable. He has to endure rain, wind, cold, and discomfort. He hopes that the bird will return soon. However, despite the other animals’ mockery, Horton refuses to go back on his word and leave, instead saying “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant… An elephant’s faithful one hundred per cent!” This steadfastness—be it honor, integrity, or commitment—is a quality I think we are starting to lose in the world.

I am not trying to point fingers here—in fact, if any fingers are being pointed, I am pointing them at myself. I am as much at fault for the slow decline of commitment as much as anyone else. For example: Occasionally, when I don’t want to make a firm commitment, rather than just say “No, thank you,” or even the less blunt “You know, I am not going to be able to…” I have noticed that I opt of either of these options, and instead say something along the lines of “I would love to! Let me see what I can do.” And then promptly forget about whatever I have *kinda-sorta* committed to do. 

I have a confession to make: I am not as busy as I make myself out to be sometimes. I have another confession to make: I never realized what I was doing until very recently, when I was trying to set up something with a friend, and they did the same thing to me. And honestly, it stung a little to realize that I am guilty of the very same thing. 

Part of me wonders whether this noncommittal attitude has become a habit because we are getting more and more afraid of offending people. In ancient times, an oath was often made verbally, and that was enough to count it as absolute. Now, we fear that if we tell the truth we will offend our friend, and they may never invite us to do anything again. However, let me let you in on a secret: If this person is truly a friend, they won't hate you forever. Hopefully, they won't even hate you for a minute.

There is a scene in the movie “Up” that keeps coming to mind. Ellie and Carl have just met as young children, and Ellie has shared her dream of going to South America. She admits she hasn't figured out how to get there, but then she notices Carl’s balloon, and informs him that he can take them to South America on a balloon. She then demands threateningly, “Promise you’ll take us! Cross your heart! Cross it...” Carl crosses his heart, and Ellie is satisfied. She absolutely trusts that Carl will indeed take them to South America on a balloon.

I want to be like that. I want to have people take me at my word, and not be disappointed. I want them to know that if I say I will be somewhere, I will be there. I want to be a "woman of my word." I want to bring back a sense of honor and commitment to my life.

So how does one do this? 

I think it starts with thinking before speaking. I can attest, I am TERRIBLE at this. I say whatever comes to mind, and often it is not the right thing to say. But I think taking a little time to slow down and think in this fast-paced society we live in  would have numerous benefits--one of which is undoubtedly a chance to think before we make a false commitment to someone.

Another thing I think we can do is, if we are worried about offending others, don't be so easily offended ourselves. I think that we react how we expect others react. We also see others reactions based on how we would react ourselves. 

Whew! That was convoluted. Let me try to clarify: A while back, I was upset at my mom through something she had said via text message. She hadn't liked a picture I sent to her, and told me honestly. When I saw her again, I was tense and upset, and therefore saw her and got the same vibe from her--tense and upset. Really, when we sat down and spoke, she had no idea that I was frustrated, and hadn't meant the original text message in the way I had interpreted it. But I had sent the message when I was tense and frustrated, and thought her response seemed angry, so I thought we were going to have a fight. Luckily, we figured it out.

Finally, I think we need to decide that honesty and integrity are things that we want to stand for. Horton made a commitment, and he knew that he wanted to fulfill his commitment. We, too, ought to decide what we stand for, and decide how we are going to show our own commitment to honesty and integrity.

Thank you, Dr. Seuss, for giving us such a great example to live up to in Horton. And while it will be hard to be faithful 100%, we can definitely take small steps toward that by saying, along with Horton, "I meant what I said, and I said what I meant" (Though, you may not want to say that literally. People might think you are a little strange).